The minute after the minute before

Aug 11, 2016

My room number. What to think. Last night was the first night I've been in patient in a hospital, since I held my daughters body hello and goodbye. She was born at 404. 

Me and the nurse who escorted me yesterday walked by that empty, ready room, 404, and turned into the very next. Within the hour another new patient was in there. I could've gotten 404. I was here first. It makes sense chronologically. But that was my experience, last year. 405 to me seems a bit of a page turning. 404 will always be the page before. The experience before. A huge part and eternally impactful...changing the way the rest of the story unfolds. But a minute has gone nonetheless. And so much went with it. Yet so much remains from it. So much has come because of it. 404 to 405. Is a reminder. That this time. My last night in the hospital will not be the last time I see my child's physical self. 405 is a reminder that though forever connected in sibling bond and divine and natural lineage, d3 and Joislen are 2 very different individuals with their own minutes, and their own chapters. They intertwine at times. But their individuality and personal purpose is undeniably evident. 405 is a reminder that I survived 404. Maybe these things mean nothing to you. But when you've got a lifetime to face without your sweet Grace, you occupy, till He comes. Noticing my surroundings has been a helpful part of this journey for me. And for the fellow bereaved. I encourage you to open your eyes. And dare to realize. That there's a story unfolding in the midst of our very lives. Don't let the details on the pages trip you up. Keep living. Till the story is finished. because we never know what's in store.

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