Dec 2, 2015

     it dawned on me the other evening. the symbols that remind me of my Joislen. elephants and yellow butterflies. i realized how strikingly opposite those animals are. what a juxtaposition. one's an insect. one's a mammal. one is tiny and flies around frivolously. and the other is gigantic, and too heavy to even run properly. one's fast one's slow. one's dainty and gorgeous, feminine even. the other is bulky and powerful, hefty in stature. yet these contrasting animals both bring Joislen's memory and spirit to my heart. how can this be? i don't think it's a coincidence.     

     the butterfly represents her life. she arrived just for the warm weather, is ever so delicate, and so beautiful; like a piece of fine art with silk as its canvas. captivating. her life was short in length. a carefree metamorpher. from grounded in me, to boundless in Him, much like a butterfly after she gets her wings. the elephant though, represents her purpose. immovable, long-living, loud, and immense. In her spirit she is elephant-like. wise calm and can easily recall. I read a story of two elephants who hadn't seen each other in 23 years, and when they did, they began trumpeting wildly in excitement in a way they hadn't responded to any other elephant. that reminds me of how much Joislen enjoyed playing with her dad. she always knew when it was him, and always responded. i decided to do a study on elephants and butterflies. and i was very surprised to learn a little bit about their history. The word "kamama" is a cherokee word, that means, both elephant, and butterfly. found out my husband had some indian in his lineage. and at that point i just had to pause with the whole study. Kamama? My Kamama? what a perfect nickname for my Joislen, it graciously embodies everything that she was, is, and will always be. I was named Momma Pantera after she passed. and now. I'm discovering more of her, my Kamama. <3

(this picture shows me just how such a pretty little baby can have such a big purpose)

     I came across an adorable fictional story called 'Story of the elephant and the butterfly' by Thinh DoDuy. it was a love story. here are some of the quotes that jumped out at me:

"I'm sorry" stumbled the elephant, "I didn't mean to bother you, but you look like a flower". The butterfly smiled with satisfaction: "but I am a flower" she sang, "a flower that needs more freedom than the regular ones"

(the elephant talking about falling in love with the butterfly)
"I feel like drowning, you know death by drowning? But without panic, without the natural instinct of wanting for air. I'm peacefully drowning." 

"no one is more determined and headstrong than that butterfly, believe me! If there were anything impossible to do, she would be doing it!" 

then on a art blog describing butterfly tattoos, there was this fitting description: "Butterflies are often used as a visual symbol to mark a major change in a person's life. Because of the metamorphosis process, butterflies symbolize the struggle of change and transformation, and the beauty that results from such a struggle. In every way, the simple existence of a butterfly is a sign of success - the creature has had to survive a number of ordeals to remain alive. In ancient cultures, butterfly designs were used to embody the soul or the mind as a symbol of spiritual enlightenment. A butterfly emerging from its cocoon symbolizes a shedding of physical burdens while discovering a person's own personal freedom. A flying butterfly symbolizes lightness of heart, freedom of spirit and a gentle beauty. Butterflies are associated with femininity and are a symbol of elegance, beauty and allure. Women are very aesthetic creatures, which means that they appreciate the beauty that they find in life. The decorative nature of butterfly wings is considered beautiful by many women"---so butterflies are special because of their meaning, and because of their beauty. my daughter possesses both purpose and prettiness :o)

No comments:

Post a Comment