Day 21: sacred place. singe or shine? The memory of our children have as much potential as the very child it preserves

Day 21: sacred space Joisey has her virtual spot, her blog. She also visits me when I am in the presence of God, pushing me higher. As for a tangible area. We have a ledge over the fireplace which I've made her spot in our home. The room we prepared is no longer Joislen's, it is the baby storage room now; so above the fireplace is her spot. There, are her precious ashes, a yellow butterfly I designed, 2 8x10's of each of us with our baby, a colorless photo album with pictures from our hospital time, and her framed Translation Certificate. Daddy is going to add shelves this weekend (or next) so I can put up all the things we have received for her. I put her things right above the fireplace because she was cremated. And her memory being ABOVE the fire, reminds me that she came out on top through all of this--triumphantly, despite my feelings at times. It is a testament to what the fire is for. Purification. Beautification. To try something's composition; what am I made of anyway? And what will come of me? Singe or shine Trish, singe or shine.

Through all of this. I've learned, little girls are truly made up of sugar and spice and everything nice. And when a passionate parent has to separate from their child before its time, something cosmic is birthed, able to fill the the space between. Something that, if harnessed, nurtured, and handled properly, can change the course of this very world. and it's no secret what comes of this distance. Ferocious, unquenchable, love. The memories of our children have as much potential as the very children they preserve. If not more. because unlike her mortal body, her memory and her spirit are not limited by time or space. Sure. Joislen won't be playing soccer on this side of eternity. But her story may inspire a soccer player to succeed in more important matters. She won't graduate, (though I reckon she has already earned the diploma more meaningful than any other) but maybe, because of the work I am doing with the hospitals, one child who was supposed to die, will live; maybe they will graduate.

Memories are what we have. What will we do with that memory? We would've been raising a child but instead we are fueling her legacy. I strive to make sure I am better because of the experience; as we hope that when we put things through the fire, they come out refined. The fire is for a purpose, not for pitching tent. The heat cannot consume me. I am the only Joislen you will ever see or hear. If I die too? No. I must live on. For her. For us. It is not a burden to water her memory; I'm in awe of the glorious splendor that is coming to fruition as a result of her mission, sixty-seven days in the making. Yea, it's not a burden at all. It is my honor as the one with gave birth to her, the one left with the baton.
#joislengrace #captureyourgrief #joislen #whathealsyou