The Creeping Calendar--it's that time again

Joislen Grace is one month into her rest today. One month down. ____ more to go, till I get to hold you again. I got a list full of wishes. My totally viable princess so could've lived on this earth. But this at times, cold, reality is my portion nonetheless. While the perceived emptiness can feel overwhelming, I'd do it all over again for the memories we got to share. Stillborn but still lived. Our ten month journey was so real. It was so, us. Being apart from you seems impossible, but I'm still thankful for our time. I wouldn't trade it to spare my devastation. When we sign up for motherhood, we agree to the terms and conditions of the world of possibilities it may come with, hoping for the best. Wish I had a cute one month milestone collage to boast about how advanced my girl is. But instead, I have a countdown with an unknown end, and a life to navigate through, without you. I cannot wait to experience the contentment in this all sufficient grace I read about. For now, I got heartache. I miss you my sweet baby girl.

Love

Mommy