Joislens uncle David and I had a sweet talk this evening. I shared something with him I couldn't quite articulate in a post when I tried earlier. With a year passing. And especially with this "on this day" feature on Facebook. A year with a lot of consistent power and passion and inspiration. It would be easy to relive August 2015- August 2016 for the rest of my life. It would be easy. Convenient. And justifiable.
But would it be fruitful?
Joislen is symbolic of a seed. She was planted last year. And because of that seed going into the ground, the fruit that is born is from the seed. I say this in a non-idolizing way. Joislens not God. She's just one of His awesome creations. what I'm getting at is. If Joislen didn't die. My life would be extremely different. Many of her loved ones lives would be. as a planted seed. We can expect fruit. I don't have to relive this year for the rest of my life. I can continue living my life knowing that she's a part of the foundation. Prolly wouldn't live in this house or be pregnant with her brother had she lived. She's a part of what living on means.
Today was very comforting to know that she is with us as we go forward. I don't have to relive the past year. I can keep living my life knowing she's with us every step of the way. How fitting this revelation would come on her birthday. The day after we started her garden. Trees don't grow back into the ground. Remember that as you live your life. Watch your cycles. It's okay to grow from. It is different than moving on. It's just fruitfulness. It's not forgetting. Especially as angel parents sometimes we feel handcuffed to our children's memory scared to have a good day or a happy time, feeling like we have to be miserable since they're not here. Feeling guilty when we smile. But I'm here to say. Don't let your seed be planted in vain. Dig if u need to and replant on good spoil but we have to grow up from what we've experienced. This can apply to many other situations in life too. Let the past be the past and realize the important healthy things in the past can be a part of the future. I don't know if this made any sense to anyone but it spoke to my heart. If nothing else. Remember this. Nostalgia and reflection are necessary places to visit--but they make terrible residences. And also remember, not to grow back into the ground.
But would it be fruitful?
Joislen is symbolic of a seed. She was planted last year. And because of that seed going into the ground, the fruit that is born is from the seed. I say this in a non-idolizing way. Joislens not God. She's just one of His awesome creations. what I'm getting at is. If Joislen didn't die. My life would be extremely different. Many of her loved ones lives would be. as a planted seed. We can expect fruit. I don't have to relive this year for the rest of my life. I can continue living my life knowing that she's a part of the foundation. Prolly wouldn't live in this house or be pregnant with her brother had she lived. She's a part of what living on means.
Today was very comforting to know that she is with us as we go forward. I don't have to relive the past year. I can keep living my life knowing she's with us every step of the way. How fitting this revelation would come on her birthday. The day after we started her garden. Trees don't grow back into the ground. Remember that as you live your life. Watch your cycles. It's okay to grow from. It is different than moving on. It's just fruitfulness. It's not forgetting. Especially as angel parents sometimes we feel handcuffed to our children's memory scared to have a good day or a happy time, feeling like we have to be miserable since they're not here. Feeling guilty when we smile. But I'm here to say. Don't let your seed be planted in vain. Dig if u need to and replant on good spoil but we have to grow up from what we've experienced. This can apply to many other situations in life too. Let the past be the past and realize the important healthy things in the past can be a part of the future. I don't know if this made any sense to anyone but it spoke to my heart. If nothing else. Remember this. Nostalgia and reflection are necessary places to visit--but they make terrible residences. And also remember, not to grow back into the ground.
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