my Jois. my joy.

My inactivity this pregnancy has been crippling. A little fear mixed with sadness of hopes deferred just left me not active at all since my daughter died. When I realized via my health app just how inactive I had been it was sobering to say the least. While I'm not gaining weight, I still know that this lack of cardio and vitamin d is not optimal, although my son is thriving. My husband came in on Tuesday and out of nowhere said get up we're going for a walk. Yesterday my neighbor friend stopped by unannounced and I took it as a sign I should get up and finish her walk with her. Today I had so much energy when I woke up that I just went for a 3 mile stroll on my own (well, with my children and God). It's so nice and refreshing to face things that once had me bound. I feel free. And my boy is fluttering away. As a gift from Jesus and Joislen. I was able to capture my first yellow butterfly on camera. All this talk of them. All these pictures from other people. Drawings and YouTubes. Symbols shapes and paintings. But I was yet to capture anything with my own camera. Today I did. And not just a picture. But a minute long video recording. What heavenly encouragement. I avoided walking because I planned on taking my daughter on walks and those plans were never fulfilled. But I suppose. I suppose today they were fulfilled. Thanks for brightening up mommy's day baby love. Thanks for brightening up mommy's life.