in our element

I brought my Joislen bear to church today. Pastor niki who we asked to be Joislens California God mom before she was born, got teary-eyed when she held her. She appreciated the sentiment of holding Joislens height and weight and was loving toward the bear. La'shonda and Sasha were so caring and sweet. The teens all held her in teen focus today. It was nice to be received. When auntie Jessica asked to hold her. I got the bear back 20 minutes later damp of tears, I looked up and saw the tear stains in her face. We embraced during worship holding our sons and in Jesus's light with Joislen's sweet spirit near. A maternal cry. Jess was out of town when Joislen was born and was one of the few people I wanted to come by who wasn't able. FaceTime just wasn't personal enough for this kinda thing, only her gma grant saw her digitally that day. Jess never got to see her out my womb. She been to Drs appointments. She and I did a lot of things together while we were pregnant with our babies. Joislen was even there for Josiah's birth and behaved so mommy had the strength to serve as aunties doula. But Jess never got to hold her nieces physical self, and jess is a very touchy person. That hurt her. So today was a special day for her. Plus Josiah ain't gunna be an only child forever. so Jess asked for the bear back after a few moments, and enjoyed spending the whole service with her nieces bear and her son, juggling them both. We love you auntie Jessica! We love you Josiah!