each month through creativity, 8 months since you

Apr 16, 2016

The strength of the pack is the loss mom, and the strength of the loss mom's the pack!~inspired by the jungle book which was a great wonder. It's no surprise on the eve of 8 months since Joislen's birth, a detailed clear vision would manifest. I realized the date this afternoon, while I was watching the jungle book with my goddaughter and some family friends. When I leave the state, I fly with my teddy bear. My Joislen bear. But I don't carry it around when I get to my destination, it's been sitting in the back of Angie's car. When we got out the car for the movie, Amila said Titi what about Joislens bear? So the bear came in with us. My niece and her cousin were extra cuddly during the moving just showing me love. It wasn't till the elephant scene that I realized today was the 16th and it had been a whole 8 months since I met my daughters shell (the most gorgeous I've seen I'll add). Everything would've been so different. Yet, there I was nevertheless. The movie would conclude with a boy I'll call Courage riding a baby elephant for his victory lap. The narrator then said "A little boy without a people brought all the jungle together for the very first time". And the movie was over. Those words spoke volumes to me. I have literally met the most courageous loss parents that I believe exist. Teens, advance maternal age, both decisions made concerning fatal diagnoses from loving women, milk donors, organ donors, award winning fathers and global bloggers. This generation and two before. Women who have suffered loss nearly a dozen times. The eloquent and the street smart. American and international. People of faith and people who are governed by principles like decency. Disabled. Early miscarriages or post term stillbirths. SIDS. Domestic partners and dual mother teams. Families with fertility issues. People who have no rainbows or had double rainbows after loss. This is what I've been doing for the past 8 months. Learning of the most interesting people in the world in my humble opinion. And now I want to bring us together. And show that loss knows no boundaries, and show the story through the lens of those who've lived it. When I left the movie I saw my first yellow butterfly for the trip and I just knew, I just knew my baby was with me. In September Joislens blog was born, in October I did a capture your grief project that jump started my creativity, in November we donated our first cuddle cot, in December our second, in January I put the finishing touches on our first song, in February our first interview aired, in March we did our interview for national news, and here in April, we find ourselves with a project that will take time, but it will be worth it. Honoring. Sacred. And God-led. It's funny how people can feel so weak while they are truly powerful world changers. And I want our stories to be told. 8 months down till I see you again gorgeous. You shine so bright and through my sleepless nights, u still inspire me. through great depths, to soaring heights. Mommy loves you Joislen. We all do.

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