the first song I ever wrote. 1.5 minutes of vocals first then yours truly, the Pianist

Jan 9, 2016

So one day when i was feeling like grief was pointless, November 16th to be exact, 3 months after she passed, i tried to hurry my emotions since they couldn't change anything. my therapist encouraged me to be present in the moment. so. on the whole drive home i bawled my eyes out and sung a song out to my girl that just came to me. i was singing the most heartbreaking song. and joislen, being the joyful girl she is, sent some sweet responses from heaven. so the song is my heartbreak crying out to her. and her gleefully responding from heaven, without a care in the world, since she cannot understand my pain (THANKFULLY). when i got to FL for the holiday break, i put the piano to it. my nephew also plays the piano and took an interest in the song. then i realized, i needed someone to do her voice. all my nieces and nephews tried, but vinny just had that sweet voice, was at the right age, and could pull it off with reading the lyrics and everything. one day i will put it all together, but here is the lyrics, then the piano. the only reason it has to pictures to it is because i dont know how to share an audio file without making a movie :o). ive always been able to play the piano by ear, never took formal lessons. but in birthing her, Joisey birthed a songstress in me i suppose. No beethoven i reckon, but heartwork, love work, undoubtedly, my jingle with my Joi. 

Hey pretty baby
Oh how I love ya
I missed you, while you were still here

Joislen where u goin
How far is this dimension
I love you, with all of my life

Darling dumplin joisey
Yes pretty mommy
I can't believe you left me
Mama why u cryin
I want you, with all of my heart

I can't believe you left me
I'm playin here with Jesus
My heart is torn in pieces
The view is so gorgeous
I need you. For the rest of my days

My pretty baby Joislen
My loving darlin momma
I love your simple innocence
I like it when we danced 
I enjoy you, from the depths of my soul

I kissed your lovely face
Mom I love this place
Our time wasn't a waste
Thanks for naming me grace
I cherish you, as a part of my self

My little momma Joisey
My big sweet mommy
I hate that you left me
Momma ain't this pretty
I kissed you hello and goodbye
Momma He said you're comin soon

me playing as a young girl. i see me in you baby. i see you in me.

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