heartache heartbreak

Dec 13, 2015

Packing up the nursery is by far. The hardest thing I've ever had to do. My heart is racing. My hopes for her earthly life are going in boxes, and re-hoped for her baby sister to one day enjoy. Gracelen. Her name will be Gracelen Joise. I am believing God for her, and their brother Dwayne. This life I tell you. I cannot believe it. I can NOT believe it. I would've put this off until we had living babies honestly. We have the space--woulda just let the baby storage room be that until one could occupy it. (Yeah right we'll probably co-sleep till they're 40 years old) we're moving though, so it has to get done. This is just heartbreaking. I truly deeply hope you all cherish your children. Sleepless nights and trips to the hospital are not fun, each cross has its own weight and in no way do I undermine the hard work mothers of living children put in to their babies. do know though, that some of us would give it all to experience those "burdens" of motherhood. They are blessings. Every annoying gesture your kid makes? Every tiresome action they take. Every hour less you will sleep at night. Every crap they take all over their outfit. Every untimely puke. Every embarrassing fit they throw in a public place. Every time they cause you to be late to something important. Let it remind you that they still have breath in their bodies. And be thankful for the inconveniences you are afforded. My heart has reached its threshold for despair. We can only go up from here.

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