day 1:sunrise

Oct 1, 2015

this month of healing: Sunrise

I see hear and feel Gods creation, all around me. Birds and rabbits. Trees and mosquitos.
I gaze upon the power sun
A force so great it can brighten the sky a whole hemisphere at a time

Our children are no less Gods creation than this magnificent ball of light
He effortlessly spoke the sun into existence
But our children? He carefully formed and molded them with His loving hands.
Death doesn't get to devalue the intricate work He put into them. They yet live.

Like awaiting the sunrise
I awaited your arrival with heaps of joy and expectation.
And like the sunrise
You came in all light and good order
Not how I had anticipated
Not how I had hoped
But baby girl, you lived this life.
You did all you had to do from the comfort of my womb
You are not my storm
You are not consuming darkness
You are my gorgeous girl whose just a dimension away for a season
I feel your support

Never pinned you as the cheerleader type
But you encourage me every step of the way "you can do it, mommy"
You lived this life. And your in your rest. Can't wait to meet you face to face in the next
Where we will know no pain, tears sickness or death.
A dear friend said about our angels
We have learned more from them
Than they ever could've learned from us in an entire lifetime
And so.

The sunrise
Is too bright to gaze at all day
I have to leave this gorgeous site
But it will be with me every step of the way
And you, my sweet joislen
What an honor it is to have be indwelled by an angel
It's painful how much love and hope I have because of you
I had to leave your gorgeous body
But your memory. Your blankie. Your cells. And your sweet, sweet spirit--and most over, our Heavenly Father; Like this sunrise. Is with me, all day
‪#‎captureyourgrief‬ ‪#‎whathealsyou‬

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