committed

Last night as dwayne and I prepared for bed his head was pressed against my ear. So I heard a heart beat. And I'm not sure if it was mine cuz he was closing my ear. Not sure if it was his cuz I was listening to his insides: shoot it could've been the baby's! Maybe God amplified the sound of his/her heart to make a special moment for me. Maybe it was all of our hearts. I don't know: but all I do know was in that moment. I understood what family meant. Not the family I'm coming from, but the family I'm growing into. I cried. Tears rolled down my face and I praised God at the thought of the three of us, in Gods heart beat, for Gods purpose. Safe in His hands. I thank Him for trusting us to parent a child. I thank Him for protecting us and guiding us. I love my supportive husband so much. Washed dishes last night because he wanted me to study. Listens to me. Shares with me. Loves me. Not the feelings love. But The decision love. Only God could allow for this agape love in our lives. I'm so flawed. He's so flawed. But Gods so perfectly keeps us on the same team. Though it's tempting to oppose each other for a long time; that'd be like fighting ourselves. He is mine, I am his, and we belong to God. Amen.